What About my Loyalty Points?

It’s been a while since I’ve written a decent sentence. The good ones–the best, most wonderful combinations of words, don’t come from me–they come through me. I’ve had to shut that access for a while for my own mental health. Full access to that paradigm, the land of good words, requires me to be completely open and vulnerable; you know, heart beating on your sleeve, and all of that. Messy stuff. The reason isn’t unique; I am overwhelmed by the world. This has been ramping up with the orange goat’s presidency, and Doug Ford being the premier of Ontario, but the recent statement by the United Nations regarding climate change and the urgency of humanity’s focus on our planet is almost too much–is too much.

It’s not the climate statement itself, but the overall reaction to it that is, not just a problem–it’s stunningly heartbreaking. The possibility that earth could become uninhabitable is not enough for us to drop our leaf blowers, or park our muscle cars right away.

     Let's not be hasty! Just how inconvenient is this going to be?  

This, from a CNN article, October 12, 2018, by Aman Azad: 

But the planet isn't the only thing at risk as temperatures rise; your health might be in danger, too.


Oh, so it IS going to be inconvenient. Hmmm. Guess we'll pick up dinner at the drive-thru then.

The thing is, the planet is NOT in any danger. The planet will be here long after we’re gone, spinning as it always has, delighted that those parasitic humans; polluting, selfish, violent little bipeds–arrogant to a fault–have blinked themselves into history.  

Recently, I was considering going back to school and getting a degree so that I could help the depressed, but it dawned on me that, if you’re NOT depressed these days, YOU are likely more in need of counsel than someone curled up and living in a corner of their room in an attempt to retreat from reality.

Magical Thinking? Somehow this is all going to go away...tra-la-la.

Personally, I worry about my two boys; the best young men. This is not what I want for them. I imagine them thriving in a world, lush, and teeming with opportunity; a world guided by leaders gifted with mighty hearts, and keenly aware of how delicate our planet is–poets, actually. Instead, the world is being destroyed by terrible, juvenile self-centred bullies disguised as men, taking every chance they can to wank-off at the scope of their perceived power: 

They are the worst people leading at the worst time. 

I’m trying to figure out how to go forward, to live. I’ve been finding some relief in speed-hiking on the trails around here–moving as fast as I can for at least two hours. Anything less doesn’t cut it–doesn’t get through to my soul, curled up as it is, in a corner of my being. Once I get into the second hour, I feel like I’m a part of the forest. I breathe into my whole body, and I feel like, in amongst the great trees, I can go forever. My soul comes forth and, for a time, everything is okay–I’m in a good place. The last thing I want to do is leave the forest. There are certain parts of the trail where I stop and just stand, sensing and feeling the energy of the ground, the dirt and roots under my feet. If I could pixelate and become part of the scenery there, I would do it. But I can’t, so, I try to hook into the energy from my hike and use it to bait some kind of perspective that will get me through the day, and then the night. Then I do it all again.

This is ridiculous. THIS paradigm, right now, is the most shameful comedy, and I can hardly bear it.