Big Bang

I have always believed in the Big Bang theory but now that there's proof my brain has turned into a peeling banana. I have spent the day wandering around, pacing: looking at my rose plant, blooming and feeding off the rays of the sun, vacuuming up dust and particles of everything(space) and nothing(space), watching the clock tattle on time passing, and wondering who/what else is out there. What is the universe expanding into? The questions roil between thing/not thing. Oh, wait. Then there's WHY. 

I've done this before, gone down this rabbit hole. This is familiar territory but that doesn't mean it isn't troubling. On the contrary, it makes mankind's inability to get along embarrassing. We have the talent to see the beginning of time, but our mayor is a drunken clown, and Putin…well you get the idea. 

I started reading Jim Holt's Why Does the World Exist, this morning after vacuuming, a book I purchased several months ago. I've been putting it down to think, and then picking up Mary Oliver's A Thousand Mornings (a most wonderful birthday gift!) and struggling with the breadth in between. Existence? Emotion? Behaviour? Beliefs? Love? Poetry? Wes Anderson? Fission? Taxes? I know mankind has asked these questions before, but now they're in MY head, jammed in so tight that I fear my own cranial Big Bang.

I'm going cycling before I go completely insane.