'Not sure what I did wrong. I don't know why I am not simply overwhelmed with admirers at my door, following my car, singing to me while I floss. After all, I shaved my legs using a product that describes its particular scent as "Alluring Avocado."
Why don't we all take a minute and think about this, 'kay? Anyone? I'm not feeling it. Avocados are not alluring. They are salad. Or dip. Or that bumpy green thing that you buy, let sit on your counter until you get distracted, miss it's prime and then throw it out...again. I have never read a love poem with the word "avocado" in it. Any of the great operas use it? No? Big surprise.
Who came up with that? Who thought, "Hey. We'll call it 'alluring avocado.' It'll sell like crazy!" Stupid me for buying it.
Why not "Night in Paris?" Or "Panther Attack?" Or, my favourite,
I might as well have used "Yorkshire Pudding," or "Poached Egg." Maybe it's a big ad industry joke; "There goes Todd Prankill. He's the 'Alluring Avocado' guy and he's a millionaire." I shake my head. What's worse is that I nicked myself too.